So, the Billboard has released its year-end Hot 100 chart. Unfortunately, Billboard's cut-off date is quite a bit too early in the year, meaning that several fairly big hits are overlooked due to it. Therefore, there will be some songs on this list that weren't on Billboard's. The list of the worst songs will be first, in order to get the negativity out of the way first. Here's a mashup of 50+ pop songs to wash your ears of this trash after the list is over.
Number 10
Remember the Amanda Todd bandwagon in October? Did you know that it spawned a hit song?
10. True Colors - Artists Against Bullying
This song is not meant to be about bullying. That's not to say that it doesn't relate well to bullying, in fact, I'd say it perfectly represents the public's reaction to bullying. When related to bullying, True Colors seems prophetic, in that it's lyrics are the exact same things that random teenagers on Facebook say to bullying victims when there's an anti-bullying bandwagon, making this song appallingly impersonal. This makes the statement that the victim is beautiful sound insincere, because they don't even know the victim. They have nothing to do with the victim. It's possible to express your condolences without praising the victim, but that's something that this song-and society as a whole-doesn't seem to understand.
Number 9
I honestly don't hate One Direction. They have an energy to their music that I really like, and in the end it's relatively harmless. However, they are also incredibly popular, so when they do make a misstep, it's much more noticeable.
9. One Thing - One Direction
So, here's the thing: They released this song twice. The first time, it was called "What Makes You Beautiful". I'm not kidding, they're the exact same song. This is something that a one-hit wonder releases as their failed follow-up, not a major hit song. Am I the only one noticing this? It's near identical, right down to the subject matter! Of course, this is a cash in, so it can't be as specific as "What Makes You Beautiful", no, it's just a vague discussion of the one thing that she's got that gets to him. Thankfully, they recovered.
Number 8
I like Katy Perry. My reason for this is that her songs are irresistibly catchy. So, what happens when you take that away?
8. Wide Awake - Katy Perry
Why would you do this? Why would you remove the sole reason that your music is so appealing? It's not Katy Perry wanting to get personal, no, this song has FIVE WRITERS, two of which don't even have any other role! It's not a different producer, this song is produced by Katy's regular producer, Dr. Luke, and Cirkut, who is responsible for songs such as "Good Feeling" by Flo Rida and "Domino" by Jessie J. These people know catchy beats. So what's the excuse for this boring trash?
Number 7
Over in Britain, they get some truly awful pop music. For every good artist like Adele, there's some one like Cher Lloyd.
7. Want U Back - Cher Lloyd
Are you hearing this? What caused anyone involved to think that this was a good idea? There's a place for juvenile music, but there's no place for clutters of noise like this. I mean, did they actually care? Did they just wait until it could be called music, and then just shipped it out? Were they forced by their record label? The world may never know. Not if this is the only place we have to search. It's a good thing that we have people like Ellie Goulding and Adele making good music to justify the existence of the British pop scene.
Number 6.
Look, there's a video trend that needs to stop, and that's writing on walls. For whatever reason, video directors have decided to decorate their creations with the appearance of an insane person's playground. However, it's rare that the music matches this tone. Do not fear, Enrique Iglesias to the rescue!
6. Finally Found You - Enrique Iglesias
I specifically chose the lyric video because I feel that it perfectly represents the song, in that it's incredibly creepy. This song may not seem so bad musically, but then you get into the lyrics. They all make Enrique seem like a creepy stalker, yet we're supposed to find this romantic or something. Lines like "You're either coming with me or I'm coming with you" can only be interpreted one way, is what I'm saying. If I heard someone say this, I would probably run, as this guy just isn't taking no for an answer.
When Bruno Mars entered the music scene in 2010, he seemed like a talented songwriter and singer who had quite a future ahead of him. This all changed in 2011, with a sudden and tragic drop in quality, resulting in him making a song for Breaking Dawn part 1, of all things.
5. It Will Rain - Bruno Mars
It Will Rain is easily one of the most boring songs I have ever suffered through. But, as if that's not enough, Bruno Mars decides to show us his true nature-a pathetic, clingy human being who doesn't know how to deal with a breakup. When you are saying that you need painkillers to deal with it, you officially lose all sympathy. I believe that his girlfriend dumped him because he's a whiny loser. I don't feel sorry for him at all. I can't even enjoy the music part of the song, because it's incredibly tedious. And this is why it is perfect for Breaking Dawn Part 1.
Number 4
The key to making a pop song is not overstepping your boundaries. As pop focuses on catchy melodies, it's generally a bad move to step into more risky territory, and when you do, you have to make your music a little heavier. Otherwise, you become like Hedley.
4. Kiss You Inside Out - Hedley
I've already talked about this song, so I'm mostly repeating myself here, but this is not how you make a sex song. When making a song with intentions of seducing a member of the opposite sex, you need to sing seductively. Jacob Hoggard does not understand this rule, instead choosing an incredibly light pop tune for this song. You're not getting into anyone's pants with this. The only way you're getting sex is from prostitutes and gold diggers. If any Americans are reading this, then know that songs like this are why you don't hear much of our music.
Number 3
Oh, Train, what has become of you? It seems that Pat Monahan is a few screws short of a toolbox, if his recent songs are any indication. However, they're always at least entertaining musically, and Train rarely oversteps the boundaries of rock.
3. 50 Ways to Say Goodbye - Train
I'm sorry, Pat, but you can't do this. Your high tenor is incapable of singing Latin music. There's a reason you are a rock artist and not a Latin crooner, and it's because you don't have the voice for it. This would be bad on its own, but Train doesn't even follow through the entire way, returning to pop-rock with the chorus. Incredibly bland pop-rock, at that. In addition, the Train tradition of bizarre lyrics is strong in this one, with about one actual instance of a goodbye in the song proper. Worse still, Pat comes off as HEAVILY overreacting, trying to cover up his girlfriend leaving him on what can be considered fairly good terms, and then getting mad at her of all things. But, when it comes down to it, the song isn't even catchy, it's just annoying. Let's hope that Train will disappear for good next time.
Number 2
Two of the go-to artists for hating on the internet are Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj. Putting them together seems like an amazing idea, doesn't it?
2. Beauty and a Beat - Justin Bieber ft. Nicki Minaj
I once considered myself a Bieber and Nicki apologist, and I generally thought they were harmless up until this point. This song made me lose all faith in both of them. For one thing, it is a rolling list of pop cliches. From the repeating "Eh eh eh eh" after each sentence, to the dance breakdowns after each chorus, this song has no original bones in its body. On top of that, Bieber's lyrics show that he thinks way to highly of himself, discussing "the finer things in life" over a generic pop beat courtesy of J.R. Rotem. This beat has more personality than Bieber does, often overshadowing his pitiful performance. Then, at the end, Nicki Minaj spits possibly the worst verse of her career. I don't like to say this, and it takes something truly bad to make me have this opinion, but this is what's wrong with pop music. This is representative of everything that people hate in modern pop, and I will not stand for it. Yet it's only number 2!
Number 1
What could possibly be worse than the song that lowered my faith in humanity? What pile of molten filth could be so bad that it deserves to be called one of the worst songs ever? Well, will.i.am, why don't you tell us?
1. T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever) - will.i.am ft. Jennifer Lopez, Mick Jagger
I don't even understand what is happening. Quite frankly, will.i.am is possibly the worst lyricist on the market today. He's an idiot who seems to think that using two erection metaphors in the same song is clever. On top of that, there's double and even triple rhymes to be found, hashtag rap, dated references... You name something horrible in rap, it's here. The worst part is that I think he's completely serious. I don't know how he can say these things without a hint of parody, but he did it, and it's just the most awesomely bad thing ever made. On top of that is Jennifer Lopez, clearly trying desperately to remain relevant, and Mick Jagger phoning it in beyond all comprehension. This song actually deserves a listen, because it is actually that bad. I don't know how anything can top this in the department of badness, but we'll have to wait and see.
Thank you for reading! As there is still a little over two weeks left in the year, there may be some honourable mentions that didn't make the cut showing up in edits. Otherwise, see you next time, when we count the top 10 best hits of the year!
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